Sometimes the best way to work through something is to write. Tell the paper what you feel. Let it know that you’re happy, sad, suffering.
Life is moving. Life is always moving forward. Life is linear. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that.
Life will bring you many things. One of the hardest is love. Love, it hurts. Love doesn’t care where you are, it will constantly remind you that it’s there.
Love can bring rejection. Rejection will remind you that you wasted your heart on someone. So many nights, days spent with him. So much energy spent thinking, wondering, day dreaming and hoping. Laughter was abundant. Joy was ever present. But tears, they were shed. Love is like that.
Every touch was felt. It was felt deeply. Every moment made you grow more and more in love. You were trying so desperately to pull away. He kept drawing you back. He wouldn’t let you go.
Is that fair? This hold that he has on you. It’s not fair. All the moments, the words, the emotions. These are too deep to be anything less than love. Love that is crippling. Emotions that drain.
It’s not fair. He breaks your heart and expects you to clean up after him.
And yet, when you are down in the depths of the ocean. Unable to breath. Water and salt filling your lungs, filling your heart, your mind. He grabs your hand. He pulls you up. No hesitation. No resistance. Something no one could do before.
You know he doesn’t want things to change, but you can’t live like this anymore. It’s just not fair to you. Your head and your heart are breaking. Melting. They can’t do it. They need to know where to go.
The train is riding the rails, going nowhere. Gas is running out. It needs a destination. It can’t continue, it will break down, and won’t recover.
Though the pain may be great, it can’t be any more sufferable than what is current reality. Limbo.
Constantly creating scenarios. Scenarios based on assumptions.
Reacting to created scenarios is a waste of energy. Purgatory. The only way to get through is to determine the destination. Bring the train home.
glimmeringdust 